Growing up, I was a curious kid that wanted to live life to its fullest. In grade school, I was a natural leader and me and my posse of friends would go and create newsletters in the library, then sold them to the other kids for 5 cents a copy.
In junior high, I prided myself in being on every single sports team. I was class president and my legacy was to collectively fundraise enough money to bring the highly coveted Much Music Dace party to our grade 9 graduation (Canadian version of MTV – fog machines, lights and music videos broadcasted on a big screen… so 90’s!)
In high school, I went on to California on a four day hiking expedition having just registered 3 days before departure because somebody fell ill and dropped out. .. even though I had zero training the rest of the group had been preparing for 7 months to go.
After University, I said yes to a year long internship in Tanzania without being able to locate on a map where that was.
I did these things because of my juice for life.
However along the way, I didn’t get the “permission” that I wanted from my parents. I knew that they loved and wanted the best for me, however it felt like every decision that I wanted to make was second-guessed.
“Why would you want to take hip hop dance after school? Isn’t that what the bad kids do?”
“Being a part of sports teams will distract you from school. “That country is no place for a woman to travel to on her own.”
I would feel this rush of aliveness inside myself, passionate curiosity, only for it to be met with doubts, questions, and a shut down. Limitations.
I did everything that I could like getting good grades never been in trouble, so that they had nothing to hold against me when I wanted to do something.
I became a master negotiator… and developed a strong rebel side that would ultimately do what she wanted anyways. Perhaps sometimes I even did some things that I wasn’t fully aligned with, I did it just to prove a point.
I rolled my eyes at these irritating statements:
It’s not safe.. Just put your head down and be successful in life…
That doesn’t sound financially secure…
How will that get you ahead?
We know better….
This didn’t kill my spirit. I’m a feisty Airies for goodness sake.
What this questioning gave me, is that I know what it’s like to:
✨Feel alive inside your body, with every bone calling you to move forward with that feeling, even if it doesn’t make sense.
✨Wake up in the middle of the night, wanting to quit your job, leave your relationship, and go on an unplanned travel adventure.
✨Have a knot in your belly, knowing that your decision will disappoint other people.
✨Feel like you’re dying from the inside out, stuck in a relationship that keeps you small and dulls your shine because you feel loyalty to your partner… and hold on to the possibility that something will change.
✨Want to tell somebody that you deeply love, that you’re no longer willing to engage in a repeating dynamic that no longer serves… “We’re here again?!” and be afraid of the consequences of what will happen when you speak your truth.
I know what it’s like to feel that waiting 10 years to live your dream is not OK. Because you want it now.
I know what it’s like to be a dreamer and a manifestor.
To be a lover of the unknown, and willing to jump in with both feet when you don’t know what’s coming, even if you’re a bit scared.
I know this question so well… “There must be more to life than this…”
And to want, long for, a life that is free.
My work in the world is to guide women to listening and following their inner yes. The persistent whispers that turn into roars which get you sitting up taller and eyes brighter. To live life fully alive.
And I am so grateful to and proud to have called in thousands of women that I’ve worked with, who are also learning to dance to their own song.