Do you have clear boundaries?


Do you find yourself saying yes to plans when secretly inside you’re cringing because you’d rather be somewhere else?

Are you afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, see you say yes to a second date with a fake smile?

Do you avoid having to tell someone the truth about how you feel by avoiding them all together or just having surface conversations that feel meaningless?

If you said yes to any of these, you’re not alone. Most of us have been taught to override our boundaries again and again.

From eating when we’re not hungry, too taking a pill for our headaches rather than taking a rest. When you were young, perhaps you were told to go sit on auntie Sally’s lap when we really don’t want to.

When you don’t know how to listen to your boundaries and express them clearly, this creates confusion in yourself, teaching yourself that you can’t trust your own inner knowing.

It also creates a mess in your relationships, holding you back from having the intimate connections you so long for.

To get in touch with your boundaries, and learn how to express them, you must first feel yourself.

1. Feel It.
What signals does your body give when it is saying yes or no? Is there a contraction? Does your body retract? Do you hold your breath? What are the signals inside your body that tells you “no”?

2. Express it.
Simply. Unapologetically. No is a complete sentence. Not, “No, but I really don’t want to upset you..” or “No, I really want to but I am so busy…”. A simple no will do.

✨Try that – and let me know how it goes ✨

Alice Hong

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