Beautiful Ritual in Lanzarote

We had a beautiful ritual last week with my community here in Lanzarote that reminded me of a question that is so powerful in relationship…

Most of the time when challenging moments in relationship arise, we ask the question, “What am I getting out of this relationship in this moment?”

What if you were to turn it around and ask yourself instead, “What can I 𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒 into the relationship?”

Many times we get upset with our partners when they aren’t showing up the way we want them to. And we start to complain, blame or judge the other for what we perceive to be their shortcomings.

In these moments, what can you offer?

Your love?
Empathy?
Skillful communication?
Your body?
Your heart?
Your devotion to burning in the fire together?
Your willingness to have uncomfortable conversations?
Your playfulness?
Your generosity?
Your connection to source?

I started doing this a year ago, and it had made a huge shift foe me to be more fully in my relationship. Fully showing up with all of who I am… including my gifts.

Not expecting my partner to “know it all” or be “perfect” or “be my everything”… instead. offering skills, tools and aspects of ME that bring more depth, meaning and playfulness to create the relationship that I want.

What do you offer to your relationships?

Thank you to Paal Chr Buntz, Shashi Solluna and Anaisa Seneda for guiding this beautiful ritual 🙏

Alice Hong

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