Hospice with Grandmama
Our culture celebrates birth abundantly, whereas death is something hidden. Why it is so, I’m not entirely sure, because sitting by my grandmama’s side this last month has been the most profound experience of my life to date.
So much of my work in the world is about cultivating life force energy, to live with aliveness. In these moments with mama, where I’ve been an intimate part of her physical and emotional care, I am being shown the ultimate teachings of letting go. The deep release, not in a metaphorical way… in the raw, tangible, embodied, physical form.
She has let go of body mass, dropping from 88lbs to under 60.
She has let go of mobility, 6 weeks ago she drove a car, and now she hasn’t gotten out of her bed for 2 weeks.
She has let go of food – no solids for over a week, unless you count her fav… chocolate ice cream and durian shakes.
She has let go of speech… tonight I sensed she was in pain by a very soft whimper I heard. She didn’t respond to my question of whether she was in pain with her words, so I asked her to squeeze my hand if it was a yes, which she did right away.
Fluids… down to orange juice, a little coffee and coconut water.
And soon… the breath. Her pauses at the end of exhales are extending…with much shorter life giving inhales and more stillness in the pauses, in the exhale let go’s.
This process feels so natural in many ways. A transition to the end. A completion in this form, this lifetime. A celebration of life on many levels, and also the release, relief, of a full cycle lived full and well.
And for myself… I continue to receive the deep teachings of let go. And tune into what remains as the physical form departs… sheer Love. Presence. Timelessness.